Suffering from Mathness and Percentile Dysfunction
Math is like my arch nemesis. I am Batman, and math is my
Joker, and Poison Ivy… and Riddler. (hehe)
Except now I have to walk though Arkham
Asylum and they’re asking me to SOLVE their problems.
Mental Abuse To Humans: specifically ME
I was actually kicked out of a math class for having a ‘bad
attitude’ Well I’m sorry, but it’s VERY difficult to have a good attitude toward something that makes me feel like you’re worth less than old gum on your shoe… or other things that
are often stepped in....
Or something that looks
like {Ƥ¾°¥Ħƣƛƾ ǂ ʨʣ ϡ. This isn’t me being sarcastic or snide. The truth is
when I get frustrated I can no longer see numbers in the order they’re given. I’ve
always associated my ability to understand math with how alphabet soup looks, but you have to answer it. My teachers
have had a problem accepting this. Several have told me I must be really
stupid, because after showing me how to do a problem 10-15 times, I still don’t
get it. Well, every time I see it, it changes on me again. I have learned when
I get frustrated, I start speaking other languages… something I can do! (even now I’m singing in German)
Every once in a while I will think I understand something... and then this happens.
Great... I'm an idiot. |
I wasn’t even good at math before they started adding
letters and random symbols… now I really feel like a bloody idiot.
I’m not alone in this, I know there are a lot of people
out there who have this issue, but I’m pretty sure I inherited it from my
maternal side. My father is very smart. I remember as a child he ‘helped’ me in
about second grade. It was division, and he showed me over and over and over…
and over again how to put numbers into whatever was in the symbol… and I could
NOT figure it out. Eventually he got fed up with my inability and told me I
should be able to get something so simple. But it wasn’t simple to me, and it
still isn’t. I still have to constantly
be told how to preform simple operations. And even if someone is patient enough with me and ask me if I understand:
I’m a pretty tough person, I can handle a lot
emotionally, but Math is one thing that can leave me in tears. I have actually
left the Math lab (at college) crying because I felt so worthless.
I try to look at everything with humor, and I am always
making jokes, but it’s not always to see something so difficult in a positive
way.
My positive spin on this is, if I do it, and finish it I will get to go to
Korea! It’s enough to keep me strong and to keep going. Because there is NO
intrinsic reward when I complete a paper, or a problem. I never feel proud,
just content to be done with one more problem, one more section. When people
tell me math is fun, I think they’re mental. I find no enjoyment in something that makes me feel so useless. I
am so happy I will never be able to pass this issue on to anyone else. To all
those with this problem: Stay strong! You can do it! You’re not alone, oh and
you’re smarter than me, at math anyway.
I think I need this shirt |
We all need to remember there are things we're really
good at, and for me, it's just NOT math.
Aber, ich kann anderes sprache sprechen. Ich bin sehr schlau und glücklich mit dass. Ich dumm nicht!
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