Bad Karma...

This is me letting them go ... I hope.

I must have done something to earn some bad Karma, somewhere along the way I must have pissed on the wrong rock, and now the whatever high powers that be are trying to return the favor. This has been an absolutely miserable experience.

Higher education has officially made me feel worthless!

 I’ve managed to acquire an English teacher who I cannot seem to please, no matter how I try.  I feel she really wants me to ask her assistance on everything, and have her baby me through this.

I don’t have the time for that! She was literally upset that I didn’t come to her for assistance, and instead I asked advice from  1. A teacher I have in person and 2. A teacher I’ve had before, and happen to have a short personal history with, who I see on occasion. My class is online and I don’t physically see her to ask her questions. I tried E-Mail, and she C&P’s directions. I can’t win! She lives south of here, and can meet me Tuesday and Thursday after 5pm…. I work from 5-?? Every Tuesday/Thursday. She didn’t have a response other than I need to manage my time better.

Manage this!

My math is making me feel as brilliant as always, so much so I should have crayons and a helmet. I’ve had to repeat one test 3 times just for a barely passing score, scraping by. My teacher (understandably) huffs when she sees me (I think she even tries to hide), and does her best not to ‘help’ me. At one point I asked how to complete a problem on a test, I always forget the next step. She took the test, solved the problem and then marked it wrong! Thanks for the assistance -_-  I could’ve done that myself. Pass the blue crayon please!

I’ve been trying SO hard to save up and go to South Korea, but when my husband lost his job, my savings dwindled down (I’ve never been able to have savings before) I needed to pay for gas and food, and a storage unit…

 Now the CV joint in my car is busted and I need it to go to work, oh work!

I got a call being told I was going to lose two dollars an hour on my pay check. I’ve worked with this company for over a year now, and was being paid for my experience as a CNA (you know that job that literally crippled me. No Serious! I have an injury from this job, that will affect me the rest of my life) and now they’re cutting my pay. 

 

After my husband was let go from his job (nothing he did). Job #3 was one of my more favorite jobs, and it is gone now. 

 The club where I DJ’d is now closed, there goes any extra money. It wasn’t often and I didn't earn a lot, but I liked it a lot and, it was gas money… that now comes out of my savings. 

I guess I can see Korea in pictures, and miss my friends for longer.

I even considered dropping out of school to go work full time…  give up on my dream…  Today when the CV joint caused the car to crick and crunch during a right turn I freaked. It was one more thing on the pile.

I have a couple friends going home to Korea here soon, and I was really hoping to see them before they left… and now.

I quit buying clothes, even though I’m in desperate need of jeans that fit, my pants are all too big, my bras don’t fit either. I’ve lost enough weight that most people would be happy, excited and get a new wardrobe. Not me, I’m trying to save everything to go to another country… and I just know it’s not going to happen now. I actually cried! I was so upset I shed human emotion.

 I have to get some WD-40 before I rust. Another $2.50 I don’t want to spend.  

I lost control of the sound of my voice and screeched-cried and stamped my foot like a spoilt child demanding attention. Somewhere in my rant about everything going wrong I mentioned pirate treasure and not giving a fuck about X. I think an eye patch and a parrot were also mentioned at some point as well.

I don’t want to replace my car, I want to go to South Korea. I want to see my friends. 

This semester has been miserable;

I had to make up math (which I fear I will have to do again) It takes me HOURS to get through my math sections.

I have to try to get a passing grade in English (my GPA is low enough I fear I won’t be able to go to university with it like this)

Mein Auto ist kaput.

I have less money coming in when we need it most.

I just want something to go right... 

 

My dreams are shot.

It feels like everything I’ve worked so hard for is not going to happen.

I told a friend I was kinda jealous because she got a new car. She told me         she worked hard for it (very true) and that I was working hard to go to 

                                      Korea… well… FUCK!

Update: One of my friends sent me this message after I posted this:
i think, the time that you can go to korea is not important.I know, you want go to korea even now.
most important thing is to complete your goalsgoing to korea.
you never give up, you can do it someday.^^
well.. i believe you know it better than anyone
I didn't want to alter the grammar/spelling, It made me feel better to see that. ^_^