Overheard

Have you ever been walking, and have overheard a conversation, or even just a part of a conversation that caught your ear? ! I’m sure you have, unless you’re deaf, in which case, You are lucky you don’t hear stupid daily. Class is always great for this, especially when you take your head phones off and hear "So that's why I pushed him out the window."  My favorite so far "You know he's white, right!"

During Christmas time I was walking through the mall in Bellevue, Seattle, It was lit up beautifully with small light and faux trees along the walls. The air smelled of cinnamon like there were little Christmas elves farting all around you. Pine would have been preferable to me, nonetheless it was a holly jolly happy skippy …   “There used to be different shops here when I was younger. I wonder where they went.” The man was in his late 40’s and that statement alone made me wonder how he made it that far. 

                                                          Anyway I heard someone say as they passed by

It was only common sense that stores change constantly, places are bought out so on and so la la la. Other comments, like when people make make-fun of someone’s clothing whilst they’re dressed up in yolo-swag for the redneck set,  makes it difficult for me to stifle my laughter. “That girl’s outfit is hideous.” Says the girl

in zebra print EVERYTHING, or the dude dressed like a pimped out golfer. This past week-end I passed by a girl who was complaining how she didn’t get respected while her boobs hung out her too tight tank top, no bra and holey sweats… imagine that. People warning their children to behave or they’re leaving them at the store… I like that one, especially when they haven’t heard this threat before, the reactions are great.
I always tried to make those around me laugh "quiet or we're duct taping you to the roof."

As I walked into my first class of the semester I overheard my teacher say he was going to begin a clothing line. He would re-purpose clothing he found on the roadside and sell it. Road kill clothing. I began laughing so hard, I’m pretty sure I snorted.

yeah something like this

When I’m over heard it usually is when everyone gets quiet and I say something along the lines of “ I don’t know why people think it’s okay to send me naked photos” Or “Please, let me swallow first.” My other fun trick is I know a lot of words, and sometimes I mix them up, sometimes… it’s bad. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the day I said Pomeranian and not Palomino… yeah my favorite horse is a Pomeranian. I love how little they are. The best was at the store and I yelled over the door, "My boobs don't fit in this dress", came out of the room and three guys were standing there.
Brilliant.

While I’ve been putting this together I’ve heard at least three times “ I walked into the wrong part of this conversation.”  I really do wish I wrote more of them down.

I think the best was when I was in French class in Jr. High school. One of the  guys in class wouldn’t quit touching me and I went to tell him “Tu ne touch pas moi” (*you don’t touch me) But I failed and instead yelled “Je ne touch pas moi.” My teacher loudly proclaimed “Marie-Yvette, (My French name) you just said ‘I don’t touch myself.”

The whole class overheard...